I stopped and looked around.
I found something new in myself. Some type of new emotion, a more genuine appreciation of life in a way. I have been trying to explain it but no concrete answers yet.
So the conversation about death comes up. I cringe when I hear death. Not anymore. Death is where it all ends, supposedly, so to me the most logical thing to do is live. I am not talking about the typical travelling, or jumping off a plane bullshit. I am talking about finding what you really truly for yourself enjoy doing. I found some of those things. The fear of the death is gone because there is no more passing through life, but actually experiencing it.
I have been reading a book about the meeting between the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu, who got together for a week to celebrate Dalai Lama’s 80th birthday. A journalist joined them and documented their conversations. They talk about positive energy and how they channel their own energy, about death and pain, about love. All the ups and downs of life and the most important thing about it is that it happens inevitably and we need to learn to live with it. The two spiritual leaders have some great advice on channeling your energy and turning bad experiences into learning points.
Last week I did some kind of meditation, half intentionally I guess, but I ended up being able to channel my energy and what I learned is that physical pain is purely an emotion. The adrenalin rush was so high, but after relaxing physically, something in my mind also switched. It felt like I was laying on a cloud. It felt like I escaped reality.
All of this makes me happy. It’s not only one moment of happiness, its also not an end point. It’s a process.